It has been too long! For a guy who used to find his life exciting enough to write about every(work)day, I’ve been finding it difficult to pump one of these out monthly. Hit a bit of a rut I guess, and I hear the only difference between one of those and a grave is the depth of the hole so I’ll turn a few things around here as we head into the summer months and get on top of posting a few more.

One story over the last few weeks definitely stands out for me though. Mostly because people won’t let me forget it.

Let’s set the stage…I was heading on a road trip with some buddies so I took all the soon to be expired condoms I own with me. A total of 4. Ambitious, I know, but I choose to live in a world where anything is possible on a 3-day road trip including using 4 condoms when it took me a year to use the previous 4 in the pack.

So after the road trip I had 4 condoms still and totally forgot I had just thrown them in my jacket pocket. The next weekend we were out at a local chain restaurant for a friend’s birthday. Now this is no ordinary chain restaurant, this restaurant is well known for a hiring policy that includes employing the city’s hottest young ladies and forced retirement at age 22. It’s so perfect that I assume only Jesus could have written it. I have no idea what the food tastes like at this place.

We’re partying up at the bar, the waitresses are flying everywhere looking amazing, and there are plenty of our delicious lady friends in attendance as well. When it comes time to leave, my former friend tosses me my jacket and as it’s spinning through the air all 4 condoms come flying out. Everyone stops. Including the waitresses. And a circle forms around the fallen domes. I look at the girl next to me and her face is stricken with confusion and a hint of disgust.

She says, “What did you think was going to happen tonight?”

My answer, “I don’t know” but it was drowned out by waves of laughter. Ugly laughter from beautiful people.

Really when you think about it, I was just promoting a healthy lifestyle. Nothing to worry about here ladies!

pink and beautiful
Clark